I have been grieving the loss of a friendship I never had.
I search for the answer to why I continue to be drawn to emotionally unavailable people.
I have made demands that others respect me, to love and accept me when I don’t have any inside myself.
My anger only helps me avoid the truth…my sense of humor is no longer giving me relief. B.E.D. is no longer working.
What am I doing that few others do? What is creating a fear that has lead me to self-abuse in many forms?
I am embracing the pain to a degree I have never experienced in my life. Continuing to find ways I avoid, continuing to pray for the willingness to be where I am…to continue to experience unresolved grief. Continue…Continue.
Afraid to go back, afraid of going forward.
Dr. Brené Brown puts it, “The middle is messy, but it’s also where the magic happens.”