I have continuously picked people who eventually prove to me that there’s something wrong with me, that I’m not good enough to be friends with. Busy people who never made time for me.
It’s been a long, painful process to realize that I pick emotionally unavailable people because I am not available to give anything to a potential friendship.
I have been so needy that I take hostage anyone who’s kind to me. And then blame the other person for never caring about me.
Notice the word have in the first sentence and have been in the last paragraph…Past tense words.
To share my journey from those days till now is difficult. I have very little ability to remember sequential events. Dr. Brene Brown has given me understanding how shame has controlled my life, what true belonging really is, and many more life-changing experiences.
Today I will be me. It’s the people who come to me that will enable me to choose to pursue friendship. That’s how I interpret the posted picture.