I am sure all of you have a few to add. The first 15 were given to me from an unknown author, I then reached out to friends to each send me one. Please enjoy.
Coronavirus Diary–Part Two!
Day 1 – I Can Do This!! Got enough food and wine to last a month!
Day 2 – Opening my 8th bottle of Wine. I fear wine supplies might not last!
Day 3 – Strawberries: Some have 210 seeds, some have 235 seeds. Who Knew??
Day 4 – 8:00 pm. Removed my Day Pajamas and put on my Night Pajamas.
Day 5 – Today, I tried to make Hand Sanitizer. It came out as Jello Shots!!
Day 6 – I get to take the Garbage out. I’m So excited, I can’t decide what to wear.
Day 7 – Laughing way too much at my own jokes!!
Day 8 – Went to a new restaurant called “The Kitchen”. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have No clue how this place is still in business.
Day 9 – I put liquor bottles in every room. Tonight, I’m getting all dressed up and going Bar hopping.
Day 10 – Struck up a conversation with a Spider today. Seems nice. He’s a Web Designer.
Day 11 – Isolation is hard. I swear my fridge just said, “What the hell do you want now?”
Day 12 – I realized why dogs get so excited about something moving outside, going for walks or car rides. I think I just barked at a squirrel.
Day 13 – If you keep a glass of wine in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face.
Day 14 – Watched the birds fight over a worm. The Cardinals lead the Blue Jays 3–1.
Day 15 – Anybody else feel like they’ve cooked dinner about 395 times this month?”
Day 16 – Learned coffee filters and dryer sheets twice as absorbent as toilet paper.
Day 17- Learning to cook again. Saw a few cans marked dog food. Think I can put them in Chili?
Day 18 – Turned off the sprinklers to save water. No one out driving, who will see my dead yard?
Day 19 – Turned sprinklers onto a new area. Realize I might have to grow corn, to feed the chickens I might have to buy.
Day 20 – Hope the washer or dryer doesn’t give out. I might have to use the old-fashioned washtub and that would take energy.
Day 21 – The dog said to me, “What’s for breakfast?” I didn’t know my dog could talk. Must be hallucinating.
Day 22 – Now I see a cat in my kitchen. Didn’t know I had a cat. Yes, definitely hallucination from being cooped up too long.
Day 23 – Anybody but me thinking about a couple days on the beach? What? The Governor of California has shut the beaches? Get out of here.
Day 24 – I know I must be in a dream, so I’m going to go to the strip. Probably stop in at The Venetian for dinner at one of the nice restaurants. I really don’t believe everything is shut down. Just kidding, having gourmet food withdrawals. This take out stuff doesn’t cut it.
Day 25 – Anyone looked in their bathroom? Do you see 85 rolls of toilet paper stacked up?
Day 26 – Binge watched the MTV Show Catfish so I can learn how to successfully create a fake online dating profile—since that’s the only safe relationship to explore.
Day 27 – I said to the clerk at my supermarket, “I got the last two rolls of toilet paper on your shelf, how much food should I buy?”
Day 28 – Started dusting shelves and discovered these things with printed words on paper. I googled it and they are called books, and you don’t need a device to read them. Apparently I used to collect them. Wow!
Day 29 – Everybody’s got their panties so much in a bunch I’m thinking about going into the underwear business, can I get an extraction partner?
Day 30 – Our new company would be called Tongs for Thongs, LLC.
Day 31 – I think my wife is pregnant. How do you like the name Pandemica or Quarantina?
Day 32 – I’ve been washing my hands so much you’ll be able to make alligator shoes out of them when this is over.
Day 33 – Shredding old files, making a mess trying to get organized—quite a challenge!
Day 34 – Anyone else’s car getting three weeks to the gallon?
Day 35 – Laughing is my saving grace. The old TV shows All in the Family and The Honeymooners have given me hope that we will survive the politics and TV News alerts.
Day 36 – My birds are fighting inside the hedge…no Kos yet, but the bluebird is on its back and I’m counting to 10. Damn she got up at 9 and is now kicking the blackbird’s ass…well she is now standing over the blackbird who is tweeting, I quit. I didn’t know birds could talk either, it is amazing—wow!
Day 37 – After having learned Spanish and adding the Spanish channels back onto the TV remote, just discovered Las Vegas now has a Vietnamese channel—I’m learning Vietnamese!
Day 38 – Soaked the kitchen faucet in vinegar to get water pressure up and clean same. It worked.
Day 39 – I am waiting for my Parole officer to come and let me out. But, officer, I have been a good girl.
Day 40 – That’s it, can’t take it anymore. I must get those bicycle tires inflated so they will be ready to roll come around September when we are allowed out.
Day 41 – Saw the mailman drive by; of course, it was in a movie. I am too scared to even look out the window.
Day 42 – Think I really did see grey roots for a while. But by now, my whole head is that color so why bother.
Day 43 – The dog is silently praying that I will leave the house and give him some space.
Day 44 – Even the sound of the garbage truck coming by springs hope eternal. No one has been by to visit, so I stand in my garage and wave. They honk their horn. Great to have good friends!
Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash